Why not gay marriage and civil unions?

Health care costs. Springfield Illinois had a surprising number returned by their actuaries. $725,000/year for an estimated 65 people to get insurance with them. That's $11,153.84/for each. So against the state law, they decided behind close doors that their employees wouldn't get that coverage. I wonder, does this same debate go on behind closed doors in the states around this country? Is the real reason for marriage inequality money? We are talking about 9 million LGBT people on the conservative side. Of course the real number is likely to be much lower. ( divide by 2 because we are talking about partners, divide by 5 because only 20% of the younger crowd marries and SSM isn't going to see that) still 900,000 people at a bit over $11k/ea is actually still more than $10 billion dollars a year. Does that make you mad if you are LGBT? That the states are taking from you that much extra money? It's not just the taxes at the federal and state level. It's not just the human dignity. It's stealing a huge part of the American dream from us. That is a denial of liberty and justice. Given that it doesn't affect me personally, because I have been lucky enough to have a 'traditional' marriage for the last 17 years, is it ok for me to be mad about this for you? How much more good could we do as an economic force with an extra $10billion in our pockets every year?